Mysterious Stenches I Did Not Personally Produce

About two weeks ago a weird hot glue smell started coming out of my car. We (Kevin and me) thought maybe I had run over a plastic bag and it was melting. But no bag was to be found. We looked up "hot glue smell" on google and it suggested I might have a leak of some kind. But there were never any puddles under my car. So, because I need to drive everyday Kevin generously offered to drive me around for a couple days while my car was getting checked out. But before I dropped mad Gs on a mechanic he suggested we take a look in the engine again, just in case that elusive plastic bag was stuck in there somewhere secret. IN FACT! the smell was being produced by HALF A PLASTIC PACKING PEANUT. Those little buggers are truely amazing.

The Things we Drag Behind Us

It was a horrible humid day in LA yesterday. And I was stuck in my car all day on my nightmare hunt for the perfect swatch. But there was an amusing trend on the road. Note the little monster hanging from the bumper of this very fine vehicle. Hilarious! And far better then the giant brass testicles I saw hanging from the bumper of an SUV on La Cienega, or the plush donkey jammed on the tow bar of truck. And to think all I've been dragging behind me is that garbage bag I ran over.

Fake Homelessness

About a week ago a new homeless person set up shop behind the doughnut shop. It's a pretty popular spot and many restless wanderers have set up there. But this girl (?) is different. She has hats in hat boxes and living room chairs. Also paintings. A couple days ago I realized my new neighbor was in fact a transvestite. That's cool. But dude is a TERRIBLE transvestite. I guess you can't be too picky when you are homeless.
BUT THEN I saw her shopping on Sunset as I walked down for my monthly comic book fix. Who is this lady of the street? I'm starting to think that she is faking it as an artistic statement. BOO ART.

I apologize to art.

cellphone dance

Gin juice

Last night, me and the old man went out with some friends to the Cicada Club. For those who haven't been, or like me, haven't even heard of it, it is a club down town with a live jazz band every Sunday and vintage attire is required. Freaking fabulous. We were out danced by everyone but an extremely old couple who may in fact remember when the building had been the tallest in LA.
There were three high school kids dressed in full WWII dress uniforms. They were totally picking up chicks. FABULOUS.
Also the old orange dress was put to non-prom use. It fits much better now than it did in High School. Thank you boobs!

While we are on the subject

LA can be a pretty lonely place. Especially if you spend a lot of your day in your car. I myself, on bad days, like to narrate my escapades like a sports caster ("aaaaaannnndddd....she makes the merge! Just squeaked in there! Barely room for a wheat thin between her and that '86 Accord. This broadcast brought to you by Wheat Thins!").
And today I saw something that warmed my lonely heart. There is a homeless man that lives on Sunset in front of the Food 4 Less. He sits there with his shopping cart full of bags and stares out at the cars as they pass by. But today he leaned over and put something in his bottle of water. It took me a second before I realized it was a magic grow animal. He was growing himself a friend, or perhaps just basking in the glory that is magic grow. Either way, it made me smile.

Paper friends

It's been a long week. Never again will I book two jobs for the same week. Well, that's probably not true, but I'm not gonna do it for a while.
I spend a lot of time in my car. A LOT of time. And like most people in L.A. I try to stitch together my sanity while sitting in traffic. I do this by forming interpersonal relationships with the billboards I pass on my drive. "But, Rachel," you say, "It sounds like you are sinking deeper into insanity. You're not keeping it together at all."
Well you don't understand what me and the giant breasts on the Travel Channel billboard have. I can't really explain it but when one of my regular billboards is changed (like the Ciroq ad at 6464 Sunset that became a SIMS 3 ad) I feel like one of my co-workers has been fired. I used to see that 15 foot P. Diddy everyday on my way to work, and now he's just gone. And I didn't even get so say good bye.